Articles
Taking the Masculine off the Cross
by Anyaa McAndrew and Baba Dez Nichols 2006
It is generally true that women are about 15 years ahead of men in terms of their psycho-emotional-spiritual development. Most men are just not well-equipped to deal with the depth and complexity of women. Experts like David Deida, teacher of the yoga of intimacy, say that “men are just plain clueless about women and relationship”. Many powerful women are often disappointed that they are not able to attract men who are evolved enough to keep their attention for more than 2 dates.
Men need help raising their consciousness. We teach sacred sexuality to both men and women. We love it when we see just as many men show up for a sacred sexuality weekend as women. It is a good thing men want to love and be loved, and we know that this is a way to draw men into doing their inner work, because most men love sex.
It is interesting to explore why people continue to make the masculine the problem on this planet. There have been good reasons for this. Two to five thousand years of Patriarchy with a capital “P” probably account for our negative attitudes toward the masculine. If you are reading this article, we don’t need to fill you in about what has been done to women, children, animals, and to the planet in recent history. What about the effects of patriarchy on men?
The patriarchal system has brought us non-stop war where mostly young men have been the sacrifice. Men are expected to simply march off to their deaths to “serve their country” or some “noble cause”, and are pumped up with some macho notion of glory and honor. Patriarchy has brought men the privilege of shutting down their emotional bodies so that they can fight, kill, work, and die at jobs they hate, to defend and provide for their families, to “be the man”. Patriarchy has also brought us circumcision, a ghastly first rite of passage that violates little baby boys right out of the womb. We seldom examine what men have endured to become society’s version of men: achievement-driven slaves to ego-imposed values. By not really looking at these abuses of men, perhaps women find it easier to keep blaming men for their abuses. Doesn’t this keep the cycle of abuse going?
There is no doubt that Women have had their share of injustices. We are lovers of the Goddess our current favorite being Mary Magdalene. Talk about a maligned woman! Magdalene was redeemed years ago by Pope John Paul who finally declared that she was NOT a whore, but was branded so by an earlier Catholic regime. However, the image has stuck with her and it has not been till the DaVinci Code that mass consciousness got a glimpse of her real identity. Mary Magdalene was most likely a high priestess, the wife of Jesus, and his equal in all ways. As with all the Divine Couples of ancient lore, they stood as equals. Just like her beloved, she knew she would be scorned, betrayed and eventually written out of her co-creation with Christ. It was part of the Human Evolutionary Plan. And now that chapter is coming to a close. It is time for Divine Partnership again. The thousand years of peace that have been prophesized and promised will come when the balance of the masculine and the feminine are again in harmony. The Time of Sacred Union is upon us.
The task now is for women and men to take the masculine off the cross. We know it may seem easier and safer to keep him up there where he can’t cause more trouble and we can keep an eye on him, however, he has served his time being the bad guy, the perpetrator, the martyr, and the scapegoat for the world’s woes. He wants to be awake, conscious, alive and free. He has an important job to do and he can’t do it when he is nailed up there. It is also time for the old crusty oppressive father god archetype to die a peaceful death and for the new healthy masculine to be born in all of us. His image is formed somewhat by what we consider the more supportive values of peacefulness, cooperation, non-judgment, emotional support and safety, but there is more. Think of the Spiritual Warrior, one who shows up, and really listens to what is called for and needed, and is ready to stand as an ally with the feminine and the planet.
Men and Women have an inner patriarch that is just as problematic for us as the outer one in the world. Those of us that are evolved enough to care are ready for a new healthy version of the masculine, and many of us have already birthed him. He needs encouragement, and what he does not need is the blame of the feminine. It is time for women to stop the cycle of abuse that involves making men pay. It can be so easy to keep going into male-bashing, but when women acknowledge that there is an inner bully in them that keeps them from their own power, the bigger picture is obvious. The feminine in all of us needs to release her fear and resentment, and we all need to change. Men need the support of women to keep doing the best they can. The masculine within and without needs our love and our acknowledgement for what he does well. Without the masculine, the feminine is not safe. And, when she doesn’t feel safe, she cannot fully be her power.
We can return to more integrated values on our planet, and the masculine needs to be invited to return home to a place of honor beside women. It is the brilliant light of the masculine that will pierce delusion and guide us into this next phase of human evolution.
Baba Dez Nichols is a transformational guide and Daka trained in the sacred sexual healing arts. It is his path and honor to support others on their journey, deepen in their truth and power, find enjoyment in transformation, and bring in beneficial grounded results.
Baba Dez P.O. Box 3054 Sedona, AZ 86340
E-mail: Dez@babadez.com
Web: http://www.babadez.com
Anyaa McAndrew is a shamanic~transpersonal psychotherapist residing in Western NC. She travels regularly to the Twin Cities to facilitate priestess circles and sacred sexuality events. She can be reached at 404-432-1499 or Anyaa@verizon.net or www.goddessontheloose.com
How to Have a Divine Sex Life – With or Without a Partner
by Baba Dez Nichols
Every woman deserves to have a great sex life, whether or not she’s got a man at the moment. Your body is a temple, and the goddess must be regularly worshiped. You ignore her at your own peril.
Every man deserves to find his inner god, whether or not there’s a goddess around to awaken him. Most men today are sleepwalking through life, trapped in roles that rarely touch their hearts or kindle their deepest dreams.
It seems obvious that men and women can help each other out with this dilemma. But who’s going to go first?
For thousands of years, in the ancient temples of the goddess, women learned the sacred sexual healing arts. They were taught how to open their hearts, fine tune their bodies, and tap directly into the divine feminine power that created the universe. With these powers, they birthed love into the world.
They were assisted by priests trained in the arts of sexual magic. When the power of sexual union was put into the service of the gods, peace reigned on earth.
Where is that knowledge now? Where are the priests and priestesses who have the keys to the power and wisdom that are locked in our bodies?
Look around. What do you see?
Young women today are all too often completely cut off from the divine feminine. Rather that being taught to look within, they are left struggling to find an identity in the eyes of outsiders. They’re taught that sex is a commodity to be manufactured and sold in the sexual marketplace.
Too many women depend on the external validation of a man to supply her with the self-esteem, love, nurturing and empowerment that are in her body, aching to be released.
Far too many women stare grimly in the mirror, criticizing every curve and wrinkle, without ever glimpsing their own natural, delicious divinity winking back at them.
But women aren’t the only ones who are blind. Most men wouldn’t recognize a goddess if she stood in front of them with her hair on fire!
The divine has become alarmingly invisible to us. The goddess must be released from her prison. And sometimes the fastest way to free her is with an earth-shattering orgasm.
The god must rise into his true power, the power to make love, not war. But first he must surrender control.
If you’ve got a partner who’s willing to embark on this journey of mutual discovery and support, good for you! But if you’re currently alone, don’t let that stop you from awakening the kundalini snake inside your body, and remembering who you really are.
Sex can be a sacred rite of self-empowerment and passionate connection with our own inner beauty. And despite the fairy tales and romance novels, sexual awakening is an experience that doesn’t depend on someone else to do it to you. Or for you, or even with you.
Orgasm is a gift, whether you’re sharing it with someone else, or giving it to yourself. And this gift can do more to awaken and enlighten you than months of meditation.
The intersection of divinity and sexuality, in this day and age, is in the field of tantra. Originally an Oriental yogic art, tantra is re-emerging in the West as a reminder of what we have lost, and how we might find it again.
Tantric priests and priestesses, called tantrikas, dakas or dakinis, have the tools to show us our own magnificence. They mirror back our own wholeness, by seeing the divine spark in every human being, and fanning that spark into a fire.
The art of tantra reveals this truth about each of us: we are gods and goddesses. Tantra empowers us to feel, find and proclaim our own divine power.
Don’t let the lack of a partner prevent you from making the magic and love that you deserve. Learn how to activate yourself, love yourself, empower yourself at the core of your divine being. Gods and goddesses are self-sufficient; they don’t rely on anyone else for their power.
We don’t need a partner to activate or access the wellsprings inside us. Tantra can show us how to tap into our own emotional and physical chemistry to create alchemy and magic.
Sexuality is at the core of our power to create and manifest. Second chakra energy is sexual in its nature. Animal sex can make a new life; imagine what divine sex can create!
When we recognize our own divinity, we step into the creative field of pure potential, as the divine cocreators of our own lives. We can use the wisdom of the body and the power of our own passion to fuel anything that we desire to create.
We can all have juicy, empowering, divinely delicious sex lives. And the side effect of all that self-loving is that we become irresistible gods and goddesses.
Try being truly divine for one day, and see who notices. You may not be alone for long!
I know what I want, how can I make it happen?
by Robert ‘Baba Dez’ Nichols 2004
Not long ago, I ran into my friend Jill at the post office. We fell into a conversation about how the relationship she truly desired kept eluding her in spite of her intelligence, physical beauty, and financial success. Then I ran into Scott at the market hurrying to get to work. We exchanged a couple of witty remarks about “the old grind” and he suddenly said with some seriousness, “I have a great family, a great relationship, a great appreciation for life, and… I hate my job.” Why is it that some of the things we desire seem to fall into our lap, while other things seem unachievable?
Many of us have been dreaming, visualizing, affirming, praying, even crying and screaming for what we want and our desires continue to go unmet.
Throughout time human beings have sought to build the power necessary for manifestation. Breaking down what happens between the moment of initial desire and actual manifestation has become a major area of study for many of us. Most realize that it requires some power or energy to make things happen or manifest something.
What are the sources of energy available to us and how do we tap into these sources? Reality is holographic, Meaning that maifestation and information repeats itself, like photons and neutrons orbiting an atomic nucleus and planets orbiting our sun, and so it is with energy. There is Divine Energy, which is the power that is behind all of creation. This encompasses the stars, our sun, the planets, and every object and being in our reality. The closest and easiest power source to learn from, tap into and study is the holographic power source of our own beings. Where are we building personal power and where are we draining it? Often times we are losing power and we are not even aware that we are doing so. It is crucial that we become more attuned to our power and deepen in our awareness to plug the leaks and harness the power within ourselves.
Our ability to feel what is happening with our energy and how we are expending it is critical. This requires awareness and sensitivity. As a society we are conditioned to avoid certain feelings, which dampens our overall ability to feel. Consequently, our response to the emotions and situations that create these feelings is muted and incomplete. Feeling fully and deeply is a good thing. Our ability to feel has a direct effect on our emotional body. The emotional body is part of the feminine aspect or hologram, whereas awareness, responding, and choosing are part of the mind or the masculine hologram.
One might draw an analogy between our ideal natural state and the proverbial Garden of Eden, where all desires were met and everything was provided. Judeo-Christian tenets would seek to place the responsibility for our “falling from grace” on Eve, who represents the feminine. This is only one small example of how we are encouraged to polarize the feminine and masculine aspects of the hologram and ourselves. These erroneous beliefs become anchored in the subconscious and continue the internal rift between the mind and the emotions or the masculine and feminine aspects. This disconnection and the dispossession of the emotional body are a direct result of the discrediting and undermining of the female aspect that has been perpetuated by a masculine dominated patriarchy. There are many best selling fiction and non-fiction books today that address this issue. Some offer support for healing and restoration. As more consciousness arises and we acknowledge that we must heal these unhealthy paradigms, many of us are inspired to answer the call by creating awareness and transformation deep within ourselves. As we heal ourselves, the consciousness we anchor can begin to direct itself outward to the entire hologram including our families, communities, nations, and world.
Ultimately, the marriage of the divine feminine and masculine is reflected internally by the alignment and merging of our own emotional body and mind. The resulting equanimity and clarity we receive is the basis of our power to manifest desire.
This healing and marriage is not a mental process although the mind plays a very important role. Without the mind opening up and letting go of its agenda and bullying, there is little room for the emotional body to stand by its side in total partnership. The emotional body needs to be recognized, reclaimed, protected, honored, and exercised. When the mind is willing to hold the space and witness this process, the stage is set for something amazing to happen.
Easier said than done. The mind often thinks that this new way of relating will result in pain and death. And in a way the mind is right. The pain is about being willing to feel all of the suffering the physical body, emotional body, and heart has endured for so long under the tyranny of the mind. And the death is about the death of an old entrenched way that the mind learned in order to survive in a reality of fear, guilt, and competition. Until the mind relinquishes control, and stops judging our desires, our bodies, and our emotions, and takes its divine place as witness and space holder, the healing in the body and heart can’t happen, and we’ll never be able to manifest.
As the mind opens to receive this backlog of painful and previously unresolved emotions a merging occurs. It is the divine marriage of the mind and emotional body, or our internal masculine and feminine. In this new union of love and acceptance the Heart and the Body are transformed and reborn. Held resentment, anger, and sadness are expressed and released. The mind embraces its sacred job, to witness without judgment, hold space, create safety, discern, and choose appropriately. The gifts start arriving. New information, insights, inspiration, and energy that were previously withheld are now flowing in from the emotional body, physical body, and heart.
This new relationship is a conduit to Divine energy and we start to tap into the unlimited resources of the holographic universe. In this place we feel all of our desire, let go of our desire, and experience the merging of our desire with the Divine aspects of God- Emotions, Mind, Body, and Heart. This is also known as the Tantric Path.
The intensity and passion that is generated during sacred sexual union is the most powerful force available to human beings. On the human body level, making love makes babies and new life. When other levels of consciousness are engaged in this act, any desire can be manifested.
When we generate energy in our second chakra through sexual expression, we can move that energy in any direction.
Try it, you’ll like it!
The masculine aspect in most men and women has become so selfish and self-absorbed, obsessed with the instant pleasure of its own orgasm. Through the conscious choice to delay and redirect that desire, comes a deepening with new realms of pleasure, sensitivity and power. Power to manifest. It is time for the divine masculine to show up in all of us. There’s so much support in the universe and in divine consciousness for this to happen now. We just have to tap into it.
To create a powerful sacred sexual ritual, consciously engage all aspects of your being: body, mind, emotional body and heart. The challenge is for the mind to take that raw passion and energy that’s generated and to breathe it down through the first chakra, rooting and grounding it down into the earth and physical reality. Then breathe that rooted energy back up through the body and connect it with Divine energy and desire. As you breathe it back down from the Divine, you’re able to bring in Divine support, energy and inspiration. This is making love with God, the Earth and Sky. This sacred sexual ritual is personal and can be performed alone or with a partner.
We are all energy beings. We influence and inspire each other, not through our doing, but through our being. It’s time to show up and allow ourselves to be the divine beings that we are. Which means giving up the old game of victimhood, delusion, fear and competition.
Wake up! There are power choices!
Be willing to communicate, become transparent and vulnerable in intimate relationship, you’ll be able to find the hidden places inside that drain your power. Keeping ourselves insular to hide the shame of how dysfunctional we’ve been also keeps us powerless. The willingness to come out of hiding and feel our shame transforms our selfishness into abundance. How brave it is to stalk ourselves and bust our own delusions.
Allow your mind to take its divine place as witness and receive without judging our desires, our bodies, and our emotions, and then our mind can be an instrument of integration and direction. Always steering us on a path of more ease and beauty.
Be willing to run 2nd chakra passion throughout your entire being, harnessing the fire that will manifest your dreams.
Make lovemaking a sacred act, and when shared, a true co-creation. When we merge in sacred sexual union and are fully feeling our emotional bodies in alignment with our hearts and physical bodies, the combined desire and intent are amplified to a quantum degree. We merge into Holographic Divinity and are able to manifest heaven on earth.
In the last few months Jill and Scott have made some power choices, and learned to direct their sexual energy. They not only have reported manifesting the relationship and a more enjoyable job, they are more excited about life, and are clearer about what they want. Jill said she wished she had learned the truth about sex in high school.
Baba Dez is a transformational guide and Daka trained in the sacred sexual healing arts. It is his path and honor to support others on their journey, deepen in their truth and power, find enjoyment in transformation, and bring in beneficial grounded results.
Walking with Open Radiance and Total Safety
by Baba Dez and Anthony Williams 2006
I just came back to my home in New York City from Burning Man (www.burningman.com). My heart was wide open and my spirit and mind were completely engaged in the environment. I was ready and open to be curious about the people around me just like I was in the desert. However, I noticed that the responses of people were growing less and less positive. I noticed my heart was starting close, as well as the people who were crazy and dangerous in the subway system were sensing my ‘openness’ and trying to get into my field of attention. I was starting to lament and was wondering ‘How can I stay open and live in the city?’ ‘How can I rise to challenge of keeping my heart open and still be safe in the default world’.
In a seemingly unrelated conversation I was talking to Baba Dez about our upcoming workshop in November, and was sharing about my experiences at Burning Man and how hard it is to stay open in NYC when the average state in NYC is being guarded while unbalanced and potentially dangerous people are lurking to take advantage of your openness. I found that every day was a struggle to stay open and that little by little I was slipping into the default world of rushing, linear focus and protection. Dez was sharing with me that it is possible to vibrate your emotional body, in such a way that you can intuitively draw people who you need to draw as well as intuitively stay away from people who are energetically unbalanced. The thing that I found interesting about this is that Dez says “…when you are vibrating at your emotional core, you don’t have to be consciously controlling it all the time. It is an intuitive process that you don’t have to consciously labor on and think about every waking moment. You can live fully open, vibrating emotionally, be yourself and be safe in NYC!”
The exciting thing is that you can apply that to every area of your life – your sexuality, your relationships, your business, etc. This is an important aspect of Tantra, which is a shamanic lifestyle. Many people hold the misconception that Tantra is just about sex but in actuality, it is about how you can be powerfully active and engaged masterfully in every area of your life. Vibrating your emotional body is a powerful way to walk through Life, keeping your heart wide open while all the time being completely safe in NYC.
For more info on upcoming events here in NYC please call or write me at: Urban Mystic Productions
Anthony Williams Lordpyro@gmail.com 917-968-9402
Also, please visit http://www.babadez.com for more information on Tantra and empowered living and loving.
What We Never Learned About Sex
By Anyaa McAndrew and Baba Dez Nichols 2005
We are sexual healers. That’s a provocative statement that triggers people in this culture. However, Anyaa is also a seasoned psychotherapist and priestess facilitator and Dez is a seasoned transformational teacher. We work as healers in many other arenas. Both of us have been drawn into the arena of sexuality because there is so much power locked up in confusion, competition, obsession, and repression around sexuality. We created a weekend to assist people to step deeper into their power. It has become clear to us in our work how sexual issues create power drains that undermine our ability to create the health, abundance, relationships, and inspiration that is our birthright.
In our American culture, sexuality is a subject that is generally avoided and considered ”private”. We are uncomfortable discussing and exploring this wonderful territory for several reasons. Shame, guilt, fear, and righteousness keep us locked in darkness and ignorance. Doing work with priestess circles, Anyaa began to notice how the same fear of exploring the sexual mysteries was also true for the feminine mysteries! She also noticed that as women worked through their fears of their own deep feminine, they were naturally drawn to re-claim their sexuality.
Hmmm…. so what does that all mean? It seems that when sexuality is seen as sacred, just as when the feminine is seen as sacred, it is restored to a place of respect and honor. It becomes recognized and revered as the powerful and creative force that it truly is. What happens is that we become willing to love each other and ourselves better, creating more depth, sweetness, ease, health, safety, and abundance
Imagine a world where we learned all that we needed to know about the incredible life-force energy of sexuality! Our goal is to support people in learning the things they should have had the opportunity to learn about when they were young adults. The result is that we discover deeper parts of ourselves and unlock more of our ability to be co-creators with the Divine.
So what does it mean to be a co-creator? That’s a term that gets thrown around New Age circles a lot these days. Why is it that some of the things we desire seem to fall into our lap, while other things seem unachievable? Many of us have been dreaming, visualizing, affirming, praying, even crying and screaming for what we want, yet our desires continue to go unmet. We wonder if we have flunked Manifestation 101 or are we just fundamentally flawed. Throughout time we human beings have sought the secret to manifesting our dreams.
Dez and Anyaa believe that one of the secrets that’s been hidden from us has to do with our sexuality.
Let’s look at what happens between the moment of initial desire and actual manifestation. Most realize that it requires some power or energy to make things happen or manifest something. What are the sources of energy available to us and how do we tap into these sources? Where are we building personal power and where are we draining it? Often we are losing power and we are not even aware of it. What’s crucial is that we become more attuned and deepen our awareness to plug the leaks and harness the power within ourselves. Our ability to feel what is happening with our energy and how we are expending it is critical. This requires awareness and sensitivity.
This is where the feminine comes in. As a society we are conditioned to avoid certain feelings, which dampens our overall ability to feel. Consequently, our response to the emotions and situations that create these feelings is muted and incomplete. Feeling fully and deeply is a good thing! Our ability to feel has a direct effect on our emotional body which is part of the feminine aspect of ourselves.
Awareness, responding, and choosing are part of the mind or the masculine self. It is in the marriage of emotion and mind that we find the power to manifest desire! So ultimately, the sacred marriage of the divine feminine and the divine masculine in sacred sexuality is reflected internally by the merging of our own emotional body and mind. Externally, this union is reflected by manifesting with ease and grace.
This healing and marriage is not a mental process although the mind plays a very important role. Without the masculine mind opening up and letting go of its agenda and its constant bullying, there is little room for the feminine emotional body to stand by its side in total partnership. The emotional body needs to be recognized, reclaimed, protected, honored, and exercised. Of course we see this need all around us. It’s the dilemma of our time. The male systems around us are still controlling nature and the values of the feminine.
When the masculine mind is willing to relinquish control, stop judging our desires, our bodies and our emotions, and take its divine place as witness and space holder, then the stage is set for something amazing to happen. As the mind opens to receive the backlog of painful and previously unresolved emotions, a merging occurs. It is the divine marriage of the mind and the emotional body, or our internal masculine and feminine. In this new union of love and acceptance the Heart and the Body are transformed and reborn. Held resentment, anger, and sadness are expressed and released. New information, insights, inspiration, and energy that were previously withheld are now flowing in from the emotional body, physical body, and heart. Many of us understand this concept, but few are practicing it successfully.
This new relationship is a conduit to Divine Energy, and we start to tap into the unlimited resources of the holographic universe. In this place we feel all of our desire, let go of our desire, and experience the merging of our desire with the Divine aspects of God-dess: Emotions, Mind, Body, and Heart. So the change needs to happen inside and then it will manifest in our outer lives and eventually in our larger world.
What we are talking about here is also known as the Tantric Path. The intensity and passion that is generated during sacred sexual union is the most powerful force available to human beings! On the human body level, making love makes babies and new life. When other levels of consciousness are engaged in this act, any desire can be manifested.
When we generate energy in our second chakra through sexual expression, we can move that energy in any direction. The challenge is for the mind to take that raw passion and energy that’s generated and to breathe it down through the first chakra, rooting and grounding it down into the earth and physical reality. Then breathing that rooted energy back up through the body connects it with Divine energy and desire. As you breathe it back down from the Divine, you’re able to bring in Divine support, energy and inspiration. This is making love with God~dess! This sacred sexual ritual is personal and can be performed alone or with a partner.
Make lovemaking a sacred act, a true co-creation! Be willing to run 2nd chakra passion throughout your entire being, and harnessing that fire will manifest your dreams. When we merge in sacred sexual union and are fully feeling our emotional bodies in alignment with our hearts and physical bodies, the combined desire and intent are amplified to a quantum degree. We merge into the Holographic Divinity and are able to manifest heaven on earth.
Baba Dez is a transformational guide and Daka trained in the sacred sexual healing arts. It is his path and honor to support others on their journey, deepen in their truth and power, find enjoyment in transformation, and bring in beneficial grounded results. Baba Dez P.O. Box 3054 Sedona, AZ 86340 E-mail: Dez@babadez.com Web: http://www.babadez.com
Anyaa McAndrew is an ordained priestess, psychotherapist and tantric educator. Walking the spiritual path of the Goddess with 29 years experience in the sacred work of emotional healing, Anyaa
provides a safe space for profound transformation. Anyaa resides in Western NC email: Anyaa@verizon.net www.tantrainatlanta.com